All Aboard To Your Future

A friend recently sent me a thought-provoking quote - "Fate is what you are given. Destiny is what you make of it."

I had to wonder: Can you make a mistake...and miss your fate?

Is this concept is as simple as it sounds? Could it be that everyone's destiny is pre-designed, and with one false move, it might be possible to veer off course on your way to Your Happy Future?

If a first date goes well, was it meant to be? But if you turn down a second date, was it not in the cards? Why is that when we say or do something we mull over later regardless of how small it was, we blame ourselves for the inevitable sad turnout?  

Maybe the saying is true. Things do happen for a reason. If we didn't make mistakes, would we ever learn from the past? Graduate to our future?  Maybe we have to go through the bad, in order to get to the good. The ying doesn't function without the yang; you can't meet Y until you meet X. And in the end, embracing the idea that sometimes life is just that: Life. And in this journey we call life, people come and people go; there's pain, there's sorrow and there's happiness.   

Maybe it's all about taking chances, risks or that leap of faith. Knowing that when it all comes down to it, no matter what happened, you were yourself. Knowing deep down, that's the best kind of fate there is.

Past the Present...and Into Our Future

Wise writer Carrie Bradshaw once said "Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be."

Is it true that if you don't let go of the past, you stay a victim riddled with hurt feelings and sad emotions? But what is it about the past that we can't seem to forget? 

Maybe we never do move on from the past, but learn to accept situations as they are. That song that makes you think of your ex, the ice skating rink you went to on your first date, or a meal that sparks past stories. Some memories may bring back laughter and smiles; others tears and pain. Do we need to learn to accept painful memories so we can eventually see them in a positive light? And will there always be those that stay in the dark?

Maybe Carrie Bradshaw is right. In order for us to move on, and learn from the past we have to figure out who we were then so we can figure out who we are now. And if that's the truth, maybe people do really become stronger after rough times. 

I couldn't help but wonder: Maybe when it comes to Today, letting go of the Past and embracing the Future is the best Present anyone can receive.

Happily Ever...Closure?

Closure.

Just one little word, but one that holds so much power. What is it about this concept that creeps into women and forces them to need it in order to move on. And is it only women that need it? If guys need it too, in what form of behavior do they show it? Maybe it is just us women that make it known, and guys continue on as if nothing happened, having the coveted ability to bury past emotions deep inside of them.

If one conversation or solicited explanation is all we need to move on, why can't we accept the parental advice or constant praise from our friends instead of from the ex?  Do we truly believe what our friends and family tell us about ourselves, or do we only believe it once a guy confirms what we've needed to hear? Is it any less true if you never get the closure you need? And if you don't get it, will the ghost of your past relationships haunt you forever?

Maybe closure is all about hearing one more time why it didn't work out. Do fairy tales teach us as little girls that everything needs to have a beginning and an end? And when we don't get that "happily ever after," we need to find our own way to put a stamp on it, close the book, blow out the flame. Create the finale in the story of the Two of You; the concluding act in yet another failed relationship.  Is hearing the reason behind the inevitable break-up really the motivating factor in moving on?

When it comes to closure, are we just masochists?

This Post Has No Title...

When you’re young and just a child, you pretend to be a police office, a doctor or maybe even a lawyer. Somehow, no matter what the profession, being something that you weren’t, made you more powerful. And as we grew up, we continued to accumulate more and more titles: student, graduate, employee, aunt, wife, husband, mother.

But when it comes to dating, where does the line blur between “friends with benefits and an actual “boyfriend”? Aren’t both a title? Since when did a title become so powerful that a guy became so scared it hindered him powerless?

I had to wonder: Is Mr. No-Title a title?