The Age Cage

When you're younger, all you want to be is older. From playing dress-up with your mother's clothes and purses to the hope of hanging out with your older sister and her friends and even just being able to been seen as a responsible "young woman," it's always about one thing: your age. We strive to be seen as older, wiser, more mature, when really it doesn't matter. You age dictates it all.

Now, at 29 I find myself still with the same hopes and desires, except this time wearing designer clothes and hoping others won't see me as a "young girl" especially in the work place. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

No matter where we are in life, why do we always seem to be in the "Age Cage"?

At what point do people stop looking down at you, and start looking up to you? You can bust your butt working hard, day in and day out, go out of your way to make ends meet and bring an enthusiasm unique to your group of colleagues, but does it all really matter?  In the end, how come it always comes down to experience and what age box you fall in?

Criticism seems to only travel down a one-way street.  For instance, people feel it's okay to point out that you're skinny (as if revealing some revelation known only to them) and hey, why not "eat a sandwich" while you're at it. But would the flip side elicit a much more different response? If I were to turn around and tell them to "stop eating sandwiches" or "wow, you gained weight" -- why would that honesty seem rude but calling someone skinny isn't? Why go to those measures instead of pointing out that someone looks "great" or "healthy" or "fit".  That's much more of a compliment than being called "skinny." Yes, it's true people would rather be labeled "skinny" than "fat" or "overweight" but when you receive any type of comment over and over again, one that doesn't necessarily invoke positive feelings, it becomes, plain and simple: hurtful.

So if comments on weight can travel down a one-way street, why does age follow suit? Maybe there's a magic age when the vast majority of people finally accept you for who you are, no matter your age, sex or weight. The comments stop and you start to become part of the group.

But does it ever really stop? Will a whole new generation of people come and go, ultimately experiencing and feeling the same thing? When I turn 30, will the world of thirtysomethingyearolds welcome me with open arms? Or will I receive a whole new flood of questions and comments: why aren't you dating anyone? When will you get married? How come you don't have kids? Is something wrong with you?

One can only hope it's not some vicious cycle that never ends.